Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Rumble strips road head = magical
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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