I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
