For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
