So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
