Will you blow on my dice?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
