she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I think I am morally bankrupt
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
