when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize