I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
