So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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