Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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