I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
