He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
