i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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