She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
