just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
