You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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