Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
