I haven't been this sober since birth.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
