They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
