im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
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