I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
