Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
