Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
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