my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize