We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
