...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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