she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
