I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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