Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(702): View more from Nevada

we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.

(1-702): View more from Nevada

do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?

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(856): View more from New Jersey

my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..

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(425): View more from Washington

My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall

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(810): View more from Michigan

GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer

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(646): View more from New York

In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.

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(443): View more from Maryland

My parents are being so annoying about my colon.

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