I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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