pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
