Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize