My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
