Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
That was before I lit my hair on fire
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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