He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
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