Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
