she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
