Nicole vs. Life
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
