Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
