It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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