I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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