he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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