I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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