I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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