I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
