Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
wat bout pragnant strippers??
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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