Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize