he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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