So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
