Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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