I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
