we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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