Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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