I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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