Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
