oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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