how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
