She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
