OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
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