forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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