Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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