Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
